I grew up with a very loving mother. She's always been very supportive in everything I do. Although I can't blame my dad for being not there when we needed him 'cause he works outside the country as a seaman. Growing up, our family went through a lot of difficult times. May it be financially or emotionally. But my mom made it a point that we have everything we need. I saw my mom cry for thousands of times every time she and my dad had a fight. I wanted to help her but at that time the only thing I can do is watch my mom helplessly fighting back for her life. There was a point when I was on the 1st grade when I told my dad that I wish we could be like the families I see in school. They're all living happily. I was 7 when I told that to him. I love my dad but I can say that I'm really close to my mother. I'm really proud of being her son. When I was on 4th grade, my mom went to the States to work there. It was tough for me and my other siblings to be away from her. I can even remember when I used to hug her unwashed clothes every single night when I go to bed. I never had the clothes washed for months. It was my security blanket. When my mom got back after 6 months of being away, it was like a show on TV where we got reunited with our mother. I was really happy when I saw her getting off the plane. My mom started small businesses for her to keep earning. Unfortunately she had to close all of it and went back to the States. This time she'll be away from us for years. I was on the 6th grade when she left. That time it was harder than the first time she left us. I'll be graduating after a few months and she couldn't be there with me and so as with my dad. It was my grandma and my grandpa who went to see me end a chapter of my life and start a new one. I entered high school by myself. I took entrance exams alone, if not with my yaya. I started the first day of class without anyone taking me to school. I participated in school activities without having someone to take me pictures and be there with me applausing and congratulating me. I got my own school report card all the time. High School was really tough for me. I got bullied and I was called different names but I had to be strong. And I did. Months before I graduated from high school my mom told me that she'll be coming home for my graduation. I got really excited to see her. But months after, she said she wouldn't make it. Fortunately for me, my dad was there. My mom and my dad are still not in good terms but I've always been on my mom's side until she changed. She hated me. According to her I look just like my father and that we are very much alike. I had attempts of ending my life but nothing worked. I guess you can never end your life unless it's your time. Earlier this year me and my mom got really close again. She loved me just as how she did when I was younger. 2 months ago, me and my mom talked on the phone and out of nowhere she got mad at me and told me never to talk to her ever again. I did what she told me but when mother's day came I greeted her but she placed the phone down as soon as I was about to speak a word. I texted her but got no reply. I miss her! I love her! I'll do everything for her! All I want is to have my mom again. I don't wanna live my life knowing that there's an empty space needed to be filled. I'm still looking forward for the future with a positive mindset. I know that a mother will never abandon her child despite everything. Now, all i can do is wait and pray, hoping that she'll be back with her arms opening wide ready to hug me and shower me with her love again.
No comments:
Post a Comment